Stacy Walker and her husband, Broc, went from struggling with fertility issues to surprisingly learning Stacy was pregnant, and ultimately to profound loss.
Looking back, their family was on a rollercoaster of emotions, yet they celebrate the brief life and memory of sweet Khloe Christine Walker, who arrived on June 2, 2022 after the water sac protecting her broke. Just 17 weeks and six days developed, Khloe will always be in the hearts of her parents, Stacy and Broc, and their blended family of children (Tyler, Natalee and Lily).
The Walkers celebrate Khloe’s birthday by taking the day off each year. “I must be busy. I must have a dessert and sing happy birthday,” she said. On Christmas, each set of grandparents has a personalized ornament on their tree for Khloe. “I can’t have Christmas without her included.”
They plan to join other families at this year’s Shining Light Infant Memorial on Oct. 15 at The Forum on the Carle Foundation Hospital campus in Urbana. Carle Health team members organize events in Urbana and in the Chapel Garden of Carle BroMenn Medical Center to support families and honor their babies no longer here. The in-person gatherings and an optional livestream connection in Urbana are in conjunction with the annual International Wave of Light, a worldwide candle-lighting event held in observance of International Pregnancy Loss and Remembrance Day.
Khloe’s birth and passing marked the end of a chapter for the Walkers. Stacy and Broc tried for three years to conceive a baby, but they stopped to focus on medical challenges, which led to Stacy planning a hysterectomy. Surprisingly, the examination before the scheduled procedure revealed she was actually four weeks pregnant.
“When we reached 13 weeks, I started telling everybody. The excitement grew, we had family pictures with Dr. Seuss books, sonogram pictures and even Hershey bars so people could guess he or she,” she said.
Things changed, however, on the second night of an annual Memorial Day weekend family camping trip when she could not sleep and “felt off.” When her water broke the next morning, they rushed to the hospital. After being assessed, they were sent home with slim survival odds. Khloe seemed to briefly lay on the tear and fluid was slowly returning around her. Sadly, this only extended to three days and Khloe was ultimately born at 17 weeks, far too premature to survive.
Stacy Walker is the only one in her family who saw her baby’s precious movements of life. “I saw her moving, I saw her heart beating through her nearly transparent skin and my heart broke.”
Rachel Campbell, BSN, RNC-OB, Perinatal Grief and Bereavement liaison, at Carle Foundation Hospital, said,
“Finding the balance between grief and celebration is delicate. We do what we can to meet the needs of our grieving families both in the moments of their losses, and throughout their grief journeys. Many of our families share that the annual memorial service helps them keep their babies’ memories alive and feel a sense of community. Coming to the memorial also allows families to reconnect with people from their care team – some of the few people in the whole world who ever got to know their precious baby.”
Walker said, “I needed a community, and I didn’t know I needed a community until I went to counseling. There is no right or wrong answer to grieving.”
At Carle BroMenn Medical Center, Ashley Miller, RN, Mother-Baby Unit, lost four babies before she discovered a genetic condition prompted the premature loss of life.
Now a mother of two biological children and one adopted child, she asked to participate in organizing the annual Shining Light Infant Memorial event in Normal to remember the children she lost. “It really helps.”
“Communicate, communicate, communicate. Those who experienced loss may find more support than they anticipated, but the first step is to reach out to perinatal bereavement services at Carle and learn more,” Miller said.
In Urbana, the Shining Light Infant Memorial in-person event begins at 6 p.m. inside The Forum on the Carle Foundation Hospital campus, 611 W. Park St. Families, including siblings, may decorate luminaries for the babies they are remembering. At 7 p.m. a memorial ceremony with a harpist and the reading of baby names will be in Pollard Auditorium at The Forum.
In Normal, the Shining Light Infant Memorial in-person ceremony and Walk to Remember event begins at the Chapel Garden of Carle BroMenn Medical Center, 1304 Franklin Ave. The event will open at 6 p.m. for families who wish to decorate luminaries in remembrance of their loved one(s). Until 7:30 p.m. those in attendance are invited to spend peaceful time in the garden. Members of the Spiritual Care and Mother Baby Unit will be there for needed support.
Those who wish to honor their baby at home, may stream the memorial in Urbana online using Microsoft Teams. You will need to download the free Microsoft Teams application, tap the link for the event, and allow it to open in the application. To join on a computer, just open the link in a web browser on Oct. 15. No need to pay or create an account. Here are links to more details, the virtual link, a program link in Urbana and to register the names of babies that will be read aloud:
Urbana
Normal
Registration is not required to attend these events; it is only for the reading of names.
Categories: Culture of Quality, Community
Tags: baby, Bloomington-Normal, Carle BroMenn Medical Center, Carle Foundation Hospital, Champaign-Urbana, infant loss, perinatal, pregnancy loss,